Monday, 22 October 2012

Capture Your Grief, Day 22: Place of Care/Birth

For Capture your Grief, Day 22. Place of Care/Birth The place that looked after your you whilst you were pregnant. Share a photo of those who took care of you and your baby. This could be a midwife/doula/friend/partner.

Wow, I think I had to read this one many times and how I wish I have something to write  and share but it just bring so much heartbreaking memories.  First of all, I delivered where I'm not suppose to   have my baby which always makes me sad. Thinking that if we were home that day, things would've been different. (But then I'll never know, I still need to accept that part)  I don't know if you have read my STORY but I gave birth unexpectedly. 'Unexpectedly' is the term that I use I guess because I was only 28-weeks pregnant and did not know that I will have Alanna that day. (I googled the word Unexpectedly and the found the words 'prematurely', 'too soon' 'on short notice', 'out of the blue'.. maybe I should use those instead... but what the heck, I already wrote it).

I delivered in QHC Belleville General Hospital, I don't have a picture of the place/building but below is the picture taken there. Maybe someday, I will come and visit. I don't have pictures of the doctors and nurses who cared and helped with my baby, but how I wish I have their pictures because I know they did their very best. If only I knew that this would be part of the "capture your grief", then I would have taken their pictures. And a souvenir would be nice just for me to remember those who were there during that day. 

The idea of 'Place of care' where in I feel that I didn't even had the chance to take care of my Alanna just breaks my heart. It just happen so fast. I saw her alive for a few minutes, got separated and next thing I know she is gone. It just doesn't sound right for me :(

Eniweyz, since my eyes' starting to cry again, I want to share my husband's picture belowthe person who went through it all,  the person who cared for me and our baby even though we had Alanna for a very short period of time. 

date: 19th August 2012
taken at  QHC Belleville Hospital

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