A New Year;
A fresh Beginning;


I will let my worries go.
I will trust God completely.
I am unconditionally loved.
I will let God control my life.
I will refuse to let anxiety rule me.
I do not need to fear anything.
I will ask God to put my broken pieces together.--Debbie Werth

♥ "Grief is not a disease, it is not an illness, it is not depression. It is, in fact, an expression of love. Grief can only be a disease if love is."
♥ "My heart was taken by you... broken by you... and now it is in pieces because of you... but I am glad it is you!"
♥ "A million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried, neither would a million tears, I know I've cried."


There’s a special Angel in Heaven
that is a part of me.
It is not where I wanted her
but where God wanted her to be.
She was here but just a moment
like a nighttime shooting star.
And though she is in Heaven
she isn’t very far.
She touched the heart of many
like only an Angel can do.
We held her every minute
for the end we all knew.
So I send this special message
to the Heaven up above.
Please take care of my Angel
and send her all my love.
I nurtured and loved you,
in body and womb.
my greatest sadness,
that you shall not bloom.
Sometimes life,
is tragically unfair.
The loss in my heart,
no longer can bear.
You were barely,
given a chance.
From the beginning,
with hope I would dance.
I sit in the corner,
where I cry all alone.
My heart made of sand,
I wish it was stone.
Dear Alanna baby,
my love shall not fade.
My soul at this moment,
needs your touch and your aid.
My memory of you,
will always be tender.
My grief and my hope,
I shall never surrender.

An Angel Never Dies

Don’t let them say, I wasn’t born
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave
I’ve loved you from the start.

Although my body you can’t hold,
It doesn’t mean I’m gone.
This world was worthy, not, of me
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms
Someday we will embrace.

You’ll hear that it was “meant to be,
God doesn’t make mistakes”
But that won’t soften your worst blow.
Or make your heart not ache.

I’m watching over all you do,
another child you’ll bear.
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then you’ll understand.

Although, I’ve never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes..
That doesn’t mean I never “was”
An Angel Never Dies.


I never got to see your eyes,
or hold your hand, or hear your cries.
All I have are dreams of you,
those of which, will never come true.

My heart sank the day that I knew,
I would never get to meet you.
I had made plans, and had aspirations,
if only I had a little more patience.

I never thought the Lord would take you
away from me so soon.
But, I’ll never forget that dismal day,
around five in the morning.

The day I knew something was not right,
and through many tears I would have to fight.
Now, all I do is dream every night,
about what life would have been like.

What if you really had been alive?
But all we have a dreams of that,
and all we can do is mourn.
We will not mourn for you though,
because we know you’re where you need to be,
even though it isn’t here with me.

You are my angel baby because God wanted you with Him.
Now, forever with his angels, His praises you will sing.
None of my dreams for you will ever come true,
because of that day God chose to take you.
But, my angel baby you will always be,
in my heart forever, forever a part of me.

They tell me it’s amazing how I’ve stayed so strong,
but they don’t see how I cry when I hear your song,
they see the smile on my face but miss the hurt in my eye,
I would rather seem rude than let them see me cry,
I put on this front as I don’t want the world to see,
the pain and sorrow so deep inside me.
I don’t act this way cause I’m ashamed to feel the way I do,
I act this way in honour of you,
because although I hurt right now and my heart is broken,
I can’t help but feel pride and love when your name is spoken,
my strength comes from the love you gave to me,
and it’s that strength I want the world to see.
I will always love and miss you Alanna,
that I will never hide,
and when people ask me about my daughter Alanna,
they will always see my pride,
you were so precious and your memory will always live on,
I’ll never be sad that I had you only that your gone.
My tears are not a sign of my weakness,
they are a sign of the love I have inside,
they will always fall down my cheeks,
when I think of you with pride,
they say it takes a real man to admit when he is sad,
but how can I be sad when I look at the daughter that I had,
I will always have the memories of my little girl,
and you will always be my world,
Alanna always remember you gave me this strength and that,
you will always be your Daddy’s Little Girl!
In a baby castle, just beyond our eyes,
Our baby plays with angel toys that money cannot buy.
Who are we, to wish that you had known this world of strife?
Now, play on, our Baby you have eternal life.
At night, when all is silent and sleep forsakes our eyes
We’ll hear your tiny footsteps come running to our side.
Your little hands caress us, so tenderly and sweet
We’ll breathe a prayer and close our eyes
And embrace you in our sleep.
Feelings we will treasure,
Sometimes they’ll make us sad,
Because, our little Baby
We are still your Mum and Dad.
Empty Arms

Holding out these empty arms
Cursing my disillusionment
Why did I imagine it could be any other way
that I could have been content, dreams that’s all it was.

Mothers arms are not meant to be empty
I look up at the sky, tears filling my eyes,
Searching the stars trying to find my angel
The brightest star I search for.

Finding it the first tear rolls down my cheek
Memories flood back of our short time together
Love totally encasing my heart as I look at that star
I know you are there baby I will never forget.

I just can’t come to accept as I look that you are so far
I would have cuddled and loved you kept you safe
Within my arms holding you in a tight embrace
I will search these skies for you each night.

But just for now have to leave you in Gods guiding light
Sleep well my baby one day my arms and heart will be full again
As I join you and give you all that was meant to be.


falling deeper & deeper each day.
wondering what else I’ll lose
and wondering if it’ll go away.
It’s something I sometimes feel.
that the pain I have inside
could not possibly be real.
Not something that disappears
despite what I wish for
I have never ending tears.
That’s what I often do
I will never forgive myself.
My heart’s permanently broken in two.
These four simple words
to describe my feelings inside.
wishing I could crawl into myself
to stay forever and hide.
There are days I wonder
if these feelings will go.
If it’s possible for me
to not feel so low.


I Lost My Child Today
I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
To try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief.
I lost my child today.
I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away.
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream
“This can’t be real” I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God, help me, I want to die.
I lost my child last month.
I lost my child last year.
Now people, who had come, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, “Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long!”
I lost my child last year.

Dear God

I know I don’t pray to you as often as I should
But I need you to please help me if you would.
Please take care of my little girl,
eventhough I know that you would.

Please pass a message to my little Angel Alanna,
I know this is a big thing I ask of you,
Tell her the message is from her Daddy, brothers and sister too,
“Alanna, we love you,
Even though you are not here,
In our hearts we will always hold you dear.”

I’ve always wonder what shape your eyes would have been,
But then I thought, they never saw sin.
I will never get to wipe tears from your eyes,
When this makes me sad, I will just look up in the sky.

It so hard to accept that we will never get to see you walk,
Or grow as a little girl,
But still I’m glad because sickness or pain you will never know.

Heaven or Hell, you didn’t have to choose,
For that reason you did not lose.

Alanna, I do have some memories of you even though they are few,
But these memories are going to help me make it through.
Like you moving inside me.
That I am thankful I got to feel,
It’s these memories that are going to help me heal.

I know we’re not supposed to ask God why,
But I ask God constantly, why you had to die.
I have always heard things happen for a reason,
That it happens in its own due season.
Something good always comes out of something bad
So here are some reasons to help me from being so sad.
I know you’re with Jesus,
For this I can grin,
Because you didn’t have a choice
You couldn’t help but win.

My beautiful daughter, there’s so much I need to say
Things I didn’t get to tell you on that sad day.
You were took from us on that sad day
But I’m glad that heaven is your home, forever to stay.

Alanna, I just wanted to tell you that we love you
And goodbye we will not say,
Because goodbyes are forever, and we will be with you again someday,
So until then, continue to laugh and play.
Your Daddy, brothers, sister and I love you and that’s all I need to say.

God, there is one more thing you can give my daughter
That I want to give her everyday,
God will you please give this to her?
Tell him it’s from Mommy,
That it is my special kiss... only for my baby Alanna.

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