Capture Your Grief, Day 3: After Loss Self Portrait

Our first picture together. My first picture with my baby Alanna taken by her Dad. She was so warm and so soft, so little, so innocent and so beautiful. I thought she look like her big sister..very hairy. She is so perfect! But then how can a baby so perfect die? 

I remember hugging her, kissing her and smelling her...she smell so good. I tried so many times waking her up just by running my hands in her body hoping that she will wake up with my touch. I open up her wrapped body in her baby blanket so that maybe if she will feel the cold she will start to cry. I also whispered to her that her big brothers and sister were waiting for her so she better wake up... but she never did.

I also wish that what was happening was all a bad dream... that anytime I would wake up and I'll be pregnant again... but I never woke up... it was not a bad dream. 

I prayed and ask God for a miracle, I told Him not to take her away but then He did. 

Holding a lifeless body of my baby Alanna.. an After Loss Portrait

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