Mask on! Another holiday came and went. I am getting really better at this.
But of course there are times when I had to stop,
think and just want to hide and run. I kept on telling myself that I am
going to be okay now but there are those times that my tears were just ready
to fall.
Starting with Good Friday, we just decided to stay
home. We have relatives who came by for dinner. Me, my nieces and my
daughter decided to paint our nails with Easter colors. Back of my head, I
can't stop thinking of Alanna. This would have been an activity that me and
my daughters would have fun doing in the future but instead I know it'll
never happen. For now, I will be doing this with Alanna's big sister and
just think of her watching us from up above.
|
ANNA, AVA AND ALANNA'S HAND PHOTOS
(The 'A' Girls)
I am glad I have this photo. Alanna's
fingers were long like her big sister Ava.
I enjoyed painting Alanna's sister's
nails, I would've enjoyed painting her nails too.
|
|
|
 |
| Ava's Painted Nails Easter Theme |
|
|
 |
| My Easter Painted Nails |
|
|
|
 |
| Alanna's Tiny Hands |
|
|
|
|
|
Saturday came, I decided to bake carrot muffins and decorate them with Easter
theme. We were invited to have dinner over my brother-in-laws house so I thought
to bring this to their place. I am not good with baking things but I bought this
Quaker Carrot Muffin mixture where in you just have to add water.*grin* That's
what I use. Then me and Alanna's sister, Ava decorated them. I made sure that I
write Alanna's name.
When I was pregnant with Alanna, I had planned on enrolling myself in baking
class. That was postponed when I lost her but now I made sure that I get myself
enrolled in that class. The class will actually start tomorrow so I hope I will
learn something. I am very excited.
Easter Sunday, this day was the hardest one, my eyes got teary but again I was
able to hide from my friends. I don't think they've noticed. We were invited to
go Easter egg hunting in one of our friend's house (Janetski!). I cried because
I was happy? sad? I don't know--mixed emotions! I don't really know how to
describe it because my friend mentioned to me that our priest was asking how we
were doing. I was so 'touched' because someone still remembers. I am that person
who don't really go to church every Sunday, I don't even personally know our
priest, Father Edwin but for some reason I guess he remembers. I admit, I don't
go to church that much which I think I should. ♥
After we lost Alanna', we've been going to
church every single Sunday. But I feel "weird"? "weak"? (again I don't know how
to describe it) because every time I go to church I end up crying. I also btw
learned to bring handkerchief to church which is not me. But lately we stop
going which I need to change about myself. I guess my belief is that God is
Everywhere. I don't need to go to church because I can talk to Him wherever I
am. But again, I still think I should go to church. HAH! Again, I don't know.
Confused much?!
Anyway, today is Easter Monday also April 1st which is April Fools' day. Another
month is over. Just thought of posting today and sharing what happened few days
ago and also share this photos I got from my BL Community. Thank you for
including Alanna and writing her name.
*Easter is a time to
think about the “new life” that we have in Jesus. Easter
is the greatest feast in the Christian calendar. We celebrate the resurrection
of Jesus Christ from the dead.
