2-Months Heaven Birthday

Is it 2 months already?!

October 19th, 2012. Might be insignificant to a lot of people but for me it is my daughter's 2-month birthday in heaven. 

I still remember very clearly, it was two-months ago when you came to my life, held you, smelled you and kissed you but it was also two-months ago when you left me, said good bye and left me confused and heartbroken.

Two-months ago I wish things were different, hope that day should have never existed. But here I am counting   the months that you were gone.

A lot of things have changed for the past 2-months but my heart still aches for you. Still I am waiting for the day that I will wake up, see you and hold you in my arms again.

Woke up this morning and lit a candle for you. I cried. I whispered to you and told you that I love and miss you so much. I prayed and also asked God to take care of you and kiss you for me.

Hope you like the flower I got for you. I plan to bake cupcakes today with your brothers and sister. I love you and miss you so much my baby. For Infinity and beyond~!

XOXO,

Mommy

Monthly Birthday:

♥ 1-month bday

♥ 2-month bday

♥ 3-month bday
♥ 4-month bday
♥ 5-month bday

Capture Your Grief, Days 13 & 14: Signs & Community

Signs that she is there close--watching me is when everytime I light a candle and see the flame dance and flicker.

Community-- I have created a group in facebook uniting with people across Canada to provide emotional support and resources to those who have experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss, and to raise awareness of pregnancy/infant loss in CANADA. It's a place to share stories, experiences and support.

Please join our journey --> http://www.facebook.com/groups/ourforeverbaby

Capture Your Grief, Day 12: Scents

I wish I have a special lotion or oil that would remind me of my baby Alanna but I only have a little time with her. If I knew that this will be a part of the 'capture your grief' then I would have applied lotion or oil on her so I have a scent that could always remind me of her. But I still remember how she smelled on that few hours I hugged and kissed her, I don't know how to explain the scent, there is no brand or anything that I can think of comparable to her smell when I last kissed her. I guess it is only me who would know what that special smell smelled like.

Another smell that reminds me of her is that smell when you blow a candle. I guess I've been lighting candles for her for the past few days that everytime we lit and blow the candle always remind me of her. I would say that "Every Candle I lit will always Remind me of my baby Alanna."

Candle during Alanna's Funeral Visitation

candle

Taken on her first month birthday
We released balloon on that day too

Capture Your Grief, Day 10: Symbol

I don't really have a symbol but when I lost Alanna, I love lighting up candles for her especially watching the flame. I feel that everytime the flame moves and dance and lit up she is there with me.