I know it is impossible for someone who has not been in the same situation to understand how difficult it is to lose someone they love. I learn that a lot people do not even know what to say to us and I know that sometimes people think that what they say would make me/us feel better. But here are some words that I remember being said to me and it just made things worse.
I'm sure people just want me to feel better but these words DO NOT help, despite your best intentions. I would rather hear that you are there for me or just be silent. Sometimes Silence is GOLDEN. By this, I don't mean the silence that comes from avoiding the topic. It's more of sitting with us allowing us to pour our hearts out or just a genuine loving hug.
- "You need to move on", "Let it go" or "You should be over it by now"-- I will heal and find happiness again, but no one "gets over" the lost of a loved one. She will always be a part of who I am.
- "You are young, you can have more children"-- Alanna is irreplaceable, saying those words doesn't take away the grief of us losing our baby.
