Kenley's Empty Arms Project

(In memory of Rachael's daughter, Kenley Faith-- family's tiny princess)

Rachael hand out bears to the local hospitals & Doctors' office in Montana where she lives. She do open up requests to a set number of moms one day a month. Visit their Facebook page to read about what she does. ❤

I requested this bear when she was moving. I was not expecting it to come to me so early as I know how busy it is for someone to be moving but hey! I got my bear and I love it!

Thank you Rachael from Kenley's Empty Arms Project [K.E.A.P] for sending my family this bear. Like what you said on your FBpage, it did reminded me of  "the pain of leaving the hospital with nothing but empty arms and a broken heart". I am really, really thankful though for what you've sent me. 

I showed it to my children and my daughter hugged and kissed the bear. I told her about what you do and told her that I am expecting a bear in the mail. You should see the happiness in her eyes when I told her that I got something in the mail. It was one of those days that I hope it was really her baby sister Alanna. I can just imagine if we went home that day with Alanna in a baby car-seat that she would hug and kiss her too.. but then we came home that day empty handed. It is wonderful to see though what her reaction will be.

My daughter sleeps with the bear you've sent and she said she loves the smell of it. ❤❤❤. I think she is smelling what I can't smell... who knows? maybe Alanna sent that smell to her somehow through your bear. ❤

Photo of my K.E.A.P. Bear when I received it

♥♥♥
Thank you Rachael

My son with the bear. All smiles~!♥

When we went to Fallsview Indoor Waterpark we checked-in at Skyline Inn Hotel and my daughter did bring the bear. Thought to share a picture with them together in a crib. ♥. Alanna would've been sleeping on that crib *bittersweet*.

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Eden's Wings - my very own handmade bracelet

Got it this week.

Sharing my Handmade Bracelet from Molly at Eden's Wings-- a symbol of healing, hope and remembrance. ❤❤❤

To Molly,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love wearing it! ❤

 Visit Eden'sWing pages --> Facebook or Site.

"E" for Eden's 

Thank you Gianna's Light

I received my ribbons from Gianna's Light this week. I ordered 3 ribbons and I am hoping for my 3 children to wear them on Alanna's Death anniversary on August.

Thank you Gianna Lynn's Mom, Sherri. (I thought I love the name Gianna as it rhymes with my baby Alanna ♥♥♥)

To request and read about Gianna's Light please feel visit their site.

white, blue and pink heart ribbons

Thank you Ethan's Flame

Thank you to Ethan's Parents-- Joy and Brian for this beautiful, personalized handmade flameless memorial candle. I was so speechless.

I have found this site last year, a few months after I lost my Alanna through another BLMama and I fell in love with the candle that she got for her son. I checked Ethan's Flame website and wanted to get a candle for my Alanna but unfortunately was not able to order right away as they only ship in US. I tried to look locally for a similar candle but unfortunately did not find anything.

Recently, I thought of my relative in US and asked her a favor to have something shipped to her address, asked her to give it to my Niece afterwards who goes to school near the Canada border. I told her that I will pick it up when we come visit her. 

My wait and our trip is all worth it!♥♥♥

Ethan's Flame can make your own special candle with your baby's name and photo. There is also a beautiful poem at the back. It comes with a flame-less candle.

Please visit their website to read about Ethan and request your very own personalized flameless candle. ♥♥♥

Again, my heartfelt thank you Joy and Brian for this amazing and awesome candle. Thank you for what you do in memory of your beautiful Ethan and for offering light and inspiration for the baby loss community in our darkest moments.♥♥♥. 

Thank you Beanie 4 A Baby

Thank you Timothy Jr's Mom --Molly for Alanna's Beanie 4 A Baby. I know you've sent it way back in March to my niece address, I just got it last April 21. We finally had the time to cross the border and pick it up. It was worth the drive. ♥♥♥. Thank you so much.

Thank you for personalizing it-- I love seeing Alanna's name♥. Thank you for what you do in memory of your little Timothy and for the BL Community. ♥♥♥

Wings of Jeremiah

I wanted to share the memory box that I have received from Amanda @ Wings of Jeremiah.

The Package came yesterday and of course I was so excited to open it. Box itself made me smile. There was a drawing of the Wings of Jeremiah Logo that I have seen on their facebook page when they have posted "Memory box heading to an Angel momma!!!!" on April 4th, 2013. ♥♥♥. I am not sure if it was the same box but I have a feeling that it was. *grin*

It came with so many beautiful things. "Wings! wings! wings!" purple and pink too! ♥

I tried to picture below each of the items I have received and I am sharing them all.

It came with a Necklace with a beautiful pink butterfly pendant, a Heart-Shaped Silver that has the word "Forever" engraved. ♥... 

 Stone that has tiny delicate footprints.

A transparent oval stone that has a tiny foot made with clay. ♥...

Baby Foot with Angel Wings!... (Made of Clay)...

A Beautiful Winged Baby Angel Sleeping snugly *grin*... (so small, so delicate and I am so in love with it♥). When my 2 kids arrived from school, I show them the things that I've got and everybody was asking so many questions and wanting to know about who sent it and where it came from. Then my 3-year old son told us to be quiet and pointed to this tiny sleeping angel and said "shhhh.. 'ading' is sleeping" (**Ading in our language means little brother/sister). Made me smile because he was so young but he knows that it was for her baby sister.

Custom Candles that Amanda made. It has the Wings of Jeremiah logo and Alanna Phoebe's information (her special day, her weight and her length). 

I was so touched because I don't remember giving all this information to Amanda but she had the time to get information about my baby Alanna in my blog. I am so touched with all the effort that she put in what she does in keeping Jeremiah's memory alive. I know I will never forget Amanda and the name Jeremiah.

To Amanda, thank you for what you do. Thank you for all the things you've sent me in memory of your Jeremiah. I love everything that you picked and sent me to remember my precious baby Alanna. Someday I will give back on what you do for the BL Community. ♥♥♥  . Hugs.

Baby Loss Ribbon from Serenity's Mom Jessie

I am so happy that I finally got the Baby Loss Ribbon that Serenity's Mommy Jessie sent me today. I found her through Bo's Mom Kayla Ann. For that, I want to also thank Kayla for introducing me to her.

I was shy at first and was scared to ask for a ribbon because I did not know Jessie but she was so kind she took my Alanna's information and sent it right away. We have few messages back and forth and hoping in the future to befriend with her.

Today, my baby loss ribbon came in my mailbox! Thankful that it arrived safely. It was so beautiful, my first baby loss ribbon. I never knew what it meant until I have lost my baby Alanna. It did bring tears to my eyes because getting this things can be at times bittersweet. Knowing that I am not alone but then ofcourse the reasons why I have this ribbon. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Jessie!
I will always remember the name Serenity.

Sufficient Grace Ministries

Today, I want to share what I have received yesterday from Kelly's Organization-- Sufficient Grace Ministries for Women. I received both Comfort Bear and Dreams of You Memory Book. I felt so happy and blessed to receive such wonderful keepsake. Holding the bear makes me think about my baby Alanna. The bear feel so soft on my skin like a baby. It just felt so different when you hug the bear. I guess that's why they call it "comfort bear". I had to hold my tears when I opened the huge box. At first I was successful but then when I started reading the memory books contents (comforting scripture from the Bible, inspirational poems, as well as Kelly’s personal story of loss, grief, hope and healing) my tears were just rolling down.  

When my 6-year old daughter arrived from school, she started hugging the bear and instantly fell in love with it. She started putting bracelets and princess crown on it. I just can't help imagining that bear to be her little baby sister.♥♥♥ She was all smiles playing with the bear. 

To Kelly and the members of the Sufficient Grace Ministries-- thank you, thank you so much for everything you've sent me. What you are doing is really amazing.

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Comfort Bears were created by Kathy Rutter in 2005 for grieving mothers to have something to hold to ease the ache of empty arms. Kathy created each one with a grandmother’s love and prayers. After a valiant battle with cancer, Kathy went home to heaven in October of 2006. Today her legacy continues as the Helping Hands Ministry gathers to sew the bears, sending a grandmother’s love and prayers along with each one.

 

"The Dreams of You Memory Book was created for mothers and families who have lost a baby. It includes places for parents to journal the dreams they had for their baby, their journey of loss and healing, letters to baby, pages to record the baby’s statistics, memorial service, baptism, footprints, mementos, etc. Also included are inspirational poems and comforting scripture from the Bible, as well as the author’s personal story of loss, grief, hope and healing."

MY OWN Comfort Bear and Dreams of You Book

Me after opening the box from Sufficient Grace Ministries
Sorry I just finished crying on this picture-- such a mess

Maura Lynn's Baby Loss Memorial Blocks

First thing first I love getting things with Alanna's name on it. For those who have known me, you probably know that I am so obsessed with it. I am planning to make our glass cabinet in our basement as Alanna's cabinet as my mini-shadow-cabinet that I have in my room is already filling up fast. I just can't decide because I don't want to put her things in the basement and I think that glass cabinet is very heavy to be lifted up in our bedroom... still debating.

Today, I want to share what I have gotten in the mail last week! It finally came! Maura Lynn's Baby Loss Memorial Block for my Alanna. I was so excited to open it as it was shaped as a block when it came and I knew that it was the one I have requested. I think what they do is a great way to honor baby Maura Lynn. They also provide direction and support in the PAIL Community. I know I will always remember baby Maura Lynn, I feel happy that my baby Alanna is not alone and found another friend-- Maura Lynn. ♥♥

To request, donate, or read what they do to honor Maura Lynn Shafer please check their site at http://maurasmission.com

Again, thank you for the wonderful Memorial Block for my Alanna Phoebe.

Snowflake Ornament - St Barnabas Catholic Church

When we attended the mass at Saint Barnabas Catholic Church, we saw this Christmas tree with paper shaped ornaments. It has special messages and wishes written on them. I thought of my Alanna and wanted to make an ornament for her to hang in there too. I've decided to make a paper snowflake so I asked my 6-year old daughter Ava to help me make this paper snowflakes. She got excited and so we both did a snowflake for her little baby sister. I thought it was the most beautiful paper snowflake I have ever made plus the idea and the thought of making something for Alanna with Ava really makes a huge difference. I felt the love coming from Ava for her baby sister. Me hearing her say her little baby sisters name over and over really warms up my heart..."It's the thought that counts", right?

We use white, purple and yellow papers. Folded, cut and glued them together then we added some stickers and ribbons. After making it, we dropped by last Sunday and hang it with the other Christmas ornaments at St Barnabas Catholic Church.  

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Angel Whispers

I opened it and it came with
a Memorybox & Care Packages
"It also says
donation in memory of
precious baby Emily Williams"
Thank you~!

Today I want to share ANGEL WHISPERS, a non-profit charity operating under the umbrella of Families First Society of Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta, Canada. It was created by three moms in the Edmonton area who have experienced the loss of their baby, one shortly after birth, one through miscarriage, and one through stillbirth. I invite you to support what they do and visit their website for more information.

I also want to share what I have received from them--a very Special Care Package from Angel Whispers. I want to thank them for everything they've sent me. Newsletters, support group information, Zoe's Memory box, a keepsake(beautiful angel wings) and a Certificate of Birth (Alanna's name on it!). I think their website is amazing especially the things that they do for parents who have loss their baby. I remember having a sad, bad day but when I open our door I was surprised to see this package in our doorstep. I was so excited to open it, I feel blessed and happy after opening it. I felt loved.♥♥♥. I was not expecting it to come so soon but I received them after 5 days from requesting the package. I really, really love all the information that I got and all the things that I received that I will sponsor a care package in memory of my Alanna Phoebe. I've been looking to find something to remember her and I think this is one thing that I will do. Hoping to do it at least once a year or maybe more... who knows? If you are looking to do this for your baby I invite you to go to their website. For every $10.00 donation they will send out a care package to another newly bereaved family in memory of your baby, with the special label on the cover.

Zoe's Memory box

I feel in love with this lovely wings. I was not expecting it but I LOVE IT!

My heart filled with joy seeing Alanna's name on this Beautiful Certificate of Birth
♥♥♥

Zoe's Box, Angel wings, Certificate of Birth, card and care package.
Angel Whisper's really care~!

2-Months Heaven Birthday

Is it 2 months already?!

October 19th, 2012. Might be insignificant to a lot of people but for me it is my daughter's 2-month birthday in heaven. 

I still remember very clearly, it was two-months ago when you came to my life, held you, smelled you and kissed you but it was also two-months ago when you left me, said good bye and left me confused and heartbroken.

Two-months ago I wish things were different, hope that day should have never existed. But here I am counting   the months that you were gone.

A lot of things have changed for the past 2-months but my heart still aches for you. Still I am waiting for the day that I will wake up, see you and hold you in my arms again.

Woke up this morning and lit a candle for you. I cried. I whispered to you and told you that I love and miss you so much. I prayed and also asked God to take care of you and kiss you for me.

Hope you like the flower I got for you. I plan to bake cupcakes today with your brothers and sister. I love you and miss you so much my baby. For Infinity and beyond~!

XOXO,

Mommy

Monthly Birthday:

♥ 1-month bday

♥ 2-month bday

♥ 3-month bday
♥ 4-month bday
♥ 5-month bday