More Personalized Christmas 2012 Ornaments for Baby Alanna

I know 2012 is over but I just want to share the Personalized Christmas Ornaments that I got for Alanna. I was praying for them to arrive before Christmas day and they all did came on time, came a day before Christmas. I was not able to post them as Holidays has been really busy. But here there are: 

♥ Thanks Alanna, I was praying for them to come before Christmas and you did it for Mommy. Love you Baby~! You made my heart jumped for joy. Christmas wasn't that all bad because I know and I feel you were there. ♥

Alanna Phoebe 2012 Christmas Ornament
A Year that I will never forget ♥

♥ Alanna Phoebe Baby Pink Snowman ♥
I really wish I have her on my stockings
on Christmas. Love you Baby~!

I love that I chose this, Alanna is an Angel
for her brothers and sister

~Alanna is always going to be part of our Christmas~
♥ Our Family Names All Complete ♥

Mom, Dad and our kids~!
♥ Alanna will always be a part of our family ♥

Our Family

For those people who are interested to buy this things or similar. I got them at Ebay, the name of the seller is mj23collector. Go to his Ebay Store HERE. ♥

Christmas Day with Alanna

Merry Christmas Baby Alanna! Hope you had a wonderful Christmas
in Heaven. ♥♥♥

We were so busy this Christmas 2012 because family came over to celebrate with us. Honestly, I didn't know how to celebrate Christmas this year. I would say "I just went with the flow". Of course I had to put up a smile, have that "happy-nothing is wrong-i'm feeling great!" mask on that day. It's just weird that I am so happy outside but inside I'm still hurt and crushed. 

I wanted my 3-kids to be happy this Christmas, I know they are looking forward on celebrating and getting gifts. I think they are still young to understand how Mommy really feels sad. Sometimes, I'm thinking I am not fair to them because of the sadness that I'm feeling especially when they see me randomly cries when I should be happy because I have them. I don't know. I'm not really sure, I just don't know what is right and what is wrong. This life of mine is just so hard to balance. Weird?! super Confused?! 

Lit a candle with our Mini
Family Fireplace --- our names on it including Alanna

Eniweyz, before I start to cry again I just want to share what I did for Alanna before Christmas was over, after our last guest went home. We lit a candle for Alanna and said a prayer. My daughter also wrote something on a paper for her baby sister which brought tears in my eyes and also made me smile because she really did try her very best to write to her baby sister even though she was having a hard time spelling words. I'm just sharing photos. ♥♥♥ It's 2 AM in the morning now, gtg to sleep. Love you Alanna, *MUAHz*

Our daughter wrote a small note - I really
did not understand what it says because
it was all over the place so I asked her
what it means, she said the note says
"I love you Alanna so much! no heart broken" ♥♥♥

Snowflake Ornament - St Barnabas Catholic Church

When we attended the mass at Saint Barnabas Catholic Church, we saw this Christmas tree with paper shaped ornaments. It has special messages and wishes written on them. I thought of my Alanna and wanted to make an ornament for her to hang in there too. I've decided to make a paper snowflake so I asked my 6-year old daughter Ava to help me make this paper snowflakes. She got excited and so we both did a snowflake for her little baby sister. I thought it was the most beautiful paper snowflake I have ever made plus the idea and the thought of making something for Alanna with Ava really makes a huge difference. I felt the love coming from Ava for her baby sister. Me hearing her say her little baby sisters name over and over really warms up my heart..."It's the thought that counts", right?

We use white, purple and yellow papers. Folded, cut and glued them together then we added some stickers and ribbons. After making it, we dropped by last Sunday and hang it with the other Christmas ornaments at St Barnabas Catholic Church.  

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Another Christmas Ornament 2012

Porcelain Snowman Pink Girl Ornament arrived with Alanna Phoebe's Name came first week of December. I was not able to post it right away but I just want to share this today. Already in our Family Christmas Tree. Got it from Ebay! ♥♥♥

Christmas Ornament that I got for Alanna

Detour of the Month - Christmas to honor our Baby

Here it is "Detour of the month time again" and just when you are headed back to the main road after Halloween here comes another holiday. We know they're really the detour season and I don't have to tell you why, do I?

I know Christmas is going to be different this year, it would have been Alanna's first holiday. Last week, we bought gifts for family and friends for Christmas and when I was wrapping them I asked myself what I want this Christmas. It reminded me what Catherine from Twinkleoflight/Gabriel's Garden made for me that I requested-- a message 'All I want for Christmas is You', made me smile because that is what I really want for Christmas. I know I would not have her in my arms but in my heart she is there. I smiled because I have already received the best gift this year-- Alanna in my heart. I have accepted that she is gone here on earth but I know someday we will be together again. "Every sunset brings me one day closer to you~!" thanks to Catherine again~!

I will be celebrating Christmas with my family and friends and Alanna in my thoughts because I'm sure this is what she would want me to do. Yes, I am sad and still yearning for her which I will always will for the rest of my life but I know that she is up there to celebrate with me. I will view Christmas as an opportunity to honor her memories. I want her to be included as we celebrate Christmas to come.  These past few days, I made some things for her. I will be posting things that I got and made for her this Christmas here. Ordered things online hoping that they will arrive before Christmas.

Look like this?

One other thing, I was having a problem signing cards and gift tags, the "from" part. Usually I write my 3 kids name but I don't know if I should write Alanna's name this year. The first tag, I wrote my 3 kids name (KC, Ava , Diezel) and after their name I drew an angel (I'm not good with drawing but my angel looks like a butterfly? ♥♥♥). I'm really not sure how to do it? are there rules? Do you guys have any suggestions? How do you guys write the from "part" when you guys send Christmas cards or tagnames or just any cards?... Help?!

Alanna's Christmas 2012

Things that I made, bought and received for Alanna this Christmas. I'll be adding them as we get them. Some still being shipped hope to receive them before Christmas!

First Ornament that I made for my Alanna

Our Xmas tree this year. "Bluer than blue~!"
and Alanna's Snowglobe with her picture and her footprints

Alanna Phoebe Christmas Sleigh

ceramic ornament that has Alanna's name

♥♥♥