Wednesday, 24 April 2013

One lovely day at the park

One of the struggles since I lost my Alanna is having to have fun again with my kids. After my loss, it felt like I have no right to smile again, no right to be happy. Because there is someone missing.

For those who knew me, I am a person who always smiles and laughs all the time and honestly I am sadly to say that I am learning to do that again(I try). I still do smile and laugh but there is always that part of me that cries, that stings, that still hurts when I am happy especially when that cause of that happiness is when I am with my children. I feel really bad and unfair especially to my kids but it just feel wrong to be happy when I am missing one of my children. Is it wrong to feel this way? Am I being unfair? Is this normal?

Last week, we went to the park close to our house as the weather was just perfect. It's a walking distance so we walked while my other two kids went biking alongside. While we  were walking, I found this Rock in the park and thought it's heart shaped! Made me feel that Alanna was there watching over us. I felt great and I would say I enjoyed the day because it felt that my children are all in the park. I felt her presence and for that I am genuinely happy. It was a 'one lovely day at the park' ♥

Heart-Shaped Rock I found in the Park
I have regrets leaving it though
I am hoping that if the weather gets nicer and we
decided to go back, I would see it again.
I had to write Alanna's name in the Park's Sand ♥
All my Children in the park ♥


  1. The heart shaped rock is awesome! I'm glad your day at the park turned out well. It is hard, that thing called grief. Hugs...

  2. How special to find a rock perfectly shaped for you. I hope you find it again. Looks like a fund park day.


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