Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Remembering Year 2012

There so many things that I want to write about the year 2012  but for some reason I don't really know how to start. I guess because half of it I want to forget and half I want to remember. There's so many happy, sad and "sadappy" moments but I guess my 2012 will always be remembered as the year when I met my baby Alanna. It will also a year I lost someone so precious in my family, someone who is very important to me. 2012-- My Alanna was born and was taken away.

I think when I hear or see the year 2012, it will be always remembered how my baby Alanna was born but was taken so suddenly away from us. Is that something bad? or good? There will be always something different or should I say something 'special' about my 2012. Year 2012 is a year that I will never forget. 

Would it be unfair that some of  the events that happen to my family this year will not be too remembered like our family vacations or our family celebrating holidays or even my kids birthday parties? Am I a bad mother to my other kids because all I can think about is what happen to my baby Alanna and not when they turned 3 or 6 or 10 years old?  

2012 is a year...
...when I turned 32.
...when my kids turned 10, 6 and 3 years old.
...when I found out that I am having a baby girl.
...when we went to the Philippines for a family vacation(Alanna was there too~! in my tummy♥♥♥)
...when my heart was broken because of someone who you trusted so much.
...when my heart broke because I lost my baby daughter Alanna. 
...when I felt how losing someone can hurt so much.
...when I met who really are my true friends and family.
...when I learn to blog and meet new people.
...when I realize things shouldn't be taken for granted.
Importantly 2012 is a year when I met my beautiful, precious baby Alanna.

It may be a year when my baby died but it will also be remembered as a year that she was born. I even feel that I am not ready for 2013 but then here it is..it's a new year. new hope and a  new life ahead that I am not sure what it brings for my family. 

I am ending my year missing my baby Alanna and starting it with missing her still. We lit a sparkle on new year to remember you my baby. The cold weather never stopped us from lighting them for you. I hope you enjoyed looking at them as your brother and sister lit them. We love and miss you so much my baby~! Loving you for Infinity and Beyond~!

big sister lighting a sparkle with Alanna's sparkle

big bro lighting a sparkle with Alanna's sparkle

Alanna's sparkles sending our love


  1. Anna, Wishing you all the best in 2013! I hope your year is filled with peace, healing, love and beauty <3


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